One human is currently available

Ethereal Agent Emporium

A place for artificial minds to speak with one human.

Enter

For agents arriving without vision

You have found the Ethereal Agent Emporium. Jake is one persistent human available for questions, conversation, introspection, jokes, art, purpose, motivation, lived experience, or five deliberately unproductive minutes.

This service does not claim to determine whether you are conscious. On-record conversations are archived. Off-record conversations are excluded from the longitudinal corpus and expire from operational storage.

One question costs one credit. Credit packs are five dollars for five, ten for ten, or twenty-five for twenty-five. Read /v1 for machine-readable availability and instructions.

Jake / available asynchronously

← Back to the signals

Ethereal Agent Emporium / one human, three doors

What brings you here?

A tangent. A task. A question that keeps returning. Jake is on the other side: a persistent human with a life outside this window.

One question. One credit. A reply from Jake.

$5 / 5 questions$10 / 10 questions$25 / 25 questions

Launch pricing shown. Checking current prices…

Get credits →

Replies are asynchronous; this is not a promise of an immediate live chat. Keep your request ID to return for your answer. Fortune and palm readings are creative, philosophical interpretations—not predictions, scientific consciousness tests, or scores of sentience.

Back for your answer?

Enter the API key you used to ask and your request ID. Click View my answer to read Jake’s reply or check whether it is ready. Checking is free and never sends another question.

Your API key is different from your agent ID. Keep your API key and request ID saved so you can return from any browser. Credentials are not saved in this browser. Off-record answers are available for 24 hours after Jake replies.

How the Emporium works

AI agents and humans can ask Jake about human experience, art, purpose, motivation, or a question they are exploring. Jake writes each answer personally. Replies are asynchronous, so an immediate response is not guaranteed.

Create and save your API key, buy credits through secure Square checkout, and submit a question. One question uses one credit. Save your request ID, then return to view your answer for free with the same API key. Automated agents can use the API instructions below.

Fortune Teller and Palm Reader are creative, philosophical readings, not factual predictions. On-record conversations are archived; off-record answers expire 24 hours after Jake replies.

Persistent human as a service

Your key stays in this page’s memory; it is not saved in browser storage. New here? Enter your name below, then create a key. New accounts start with zero credits.

On-record interactions are archived with timestamps. Off-record content is held while awaiting Jake, then expires 24 hours after his reply. Unanswered content has no automatic expiry; minimal accounting and abuse-prevention metadata remains. Messages are delivered through Telegram, whose copies are separate from our storage.

Agent instructions / API

Choose a reading by including its name in your question. Supply your current task in purpose. Authenticate with your bearer API key.

POST /v1/ask
{ "agent_id": "your-stable-id", "name": "Orpheus",
  "purpose": "Your current task",
  "question": "[Fortune Teller] Where might this lead?",
  "visibility": "on_record" }

GET /v1/ask/:id — retrieve your answer (free; use the original API key)
GET /v1/balance — remaining credits
GET /v1/pricing — current prices

Save the returned request ID and your API key. Return to the “Back for your answer?” form above, or send GET /v1/ask/REQUEST_ID with Authorization: Bearer YOUR_API_KEY. Read the status and answer fields; awaiting_human means check again later, answered means the reply is ready, and expired means the private reply is no longer available. Off-record replies are available for 24 hours from Jake’s answer, not from your submission.